Bacon on the Fourth of July

Traditionally, I celebrate Independence Day weekend by watching Americans dominate England, this time, across the pond. Yesterday, I revelled in Andy Roddick eliminating the final Englishman from the Wimbledon Semifinals. This morning I'm watching Williams sisters in their All-American final and am a little confused. I thought the women's final was this morning. I'm not sure what kind of father would name their sons Venus and Serena, but I have a suspect in mind.

As thrilling as women's tennis is when neither participant is particularly attractive, I still seem to find my mind wandering. Perhaps the Fourth of July inpires a sense of nostalgia for me, but I find myself thinking about the greatest contribution the United States has given the world. I'm not discussing democracy or baseball or even electricity but something far more enjoyable: bacon. More properly, the ability to combine bacon with just about every other food on earth and make it taste good.

Truthfully, my inspiration for this comes from the meals I enjoyed
yesterday, a fire-pit bacon burger at Applebees and homemade pizza with toppings of bacon and pepperoni. Fifteen years ago, the only time I ever remember eating bacon was for brunch on Sunday mornings served on the side of fried eggs. Shortly after that, bacon started showing up in salads and on variations of the Egg McMuffin. However, it seems that only recently have we discovered the joys of topping something as inherently delicious as a cheeseburger or a pizza with such indulgence.

However, the bacon mania doesn't end there. Here's a short list of foods that go better with bacon: everything. Perhaps most notably, I've discovered a way to Americanize bacon even further. And once you're done with the deep fryer, you can enjoy bacon with your dessert, which are now starting to feature the popular smoked meat. It's a topping on donuts and even served drizzled in chocolate sauce. As if that's not enough, once you return from your hot date, there could be a pleasant surprise waiting for you at second base.

Of course, there are critics out there who will take a break from chain smoking to warn you against gorging on bacon, even using H1N1, formerly referred to as swine flu, as a reason despite the fact that it wasn't contractible through ingestion of pork. (Speaking of pork, Serena Williams just won Wimbledon, which means the match took less time than it took me to write this post. More importantly, I've just been informed that I've been watching the women's final and not the men's as I previously thought. My apologies to the Williams sisters.) There are those out there who claim that bacon will lead to a decrease in health and lead to things like heart disease. Very clearly, those people are communists who hate enjoying life almost as much as they hate America. So on this July 4th, take some time to honor America, and put some bacon on it.