By now, I've probably beaten Obamathrowslikeagirl (whose going off at 3-1 at the 2010 Kentucky Derby) to the point where it's only got about three good laughs left before it starts to feel as original as a Judd Apatow movie. So instead of commenting on the president's rag arm, I'll mock the mascot for the Binghamton Mets for his feminine home run celebration with an extremely demasculinizing conclusion. At least mascots are flat like Ken.
Unfortunately, such occurrences aren't very predictable, but that's not always the case. Some train wrecks are planned. For example, the AA affiliate of the Baltimore Orioles hosted pillow fight night on July 24. The Bowie Baysox invited all fans who wanted to participate to bring pillows to the game, after which, they were invited down on the field to experience the world's largest pillow fight. The field was separated into several sections: families with young children, families with teenagers, adults only, and hardcore (pillowcases stuffed with quarters and bars of soap). The stands were reserved for creeps and teenage boys.
Without question, the best thing about the internet is the its ability to spread information at a rate never before seen. Nothing provides better evidence of this than the ongoing protests in Iran which has been documented on sites like YouTube and Twitter.
I heard about this video of people rescuing two people, including a four-year-old, from a burning car on the news this morning and intended to write a post completely ripping on the camera operator for simply filming the rescue and not helping out. However, when I watched it I realized that there were plenty of people already helping, and because of his role, everybody in the world can see that there are still people willing to put themselves in harm's way to help other people.
In a semi-related story, the president was kind enough to further my argument that he's secretly a woman by admitting that the jeans he wore for the All-Star Game were "frumpy." Frumpy? He made further excuses by declaring that the jeans were comfortable, and he hates to shop. Clearly, this is nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to protect his image with men, and it's true that I would prefer comfortable to stylish. That's fair. He's a guy. But none of this would have mattered if he could throw like one.
More internet video news. Apparently, a video of a naked Erin Andrews surfaced over the weekend. It was taken while she was in her hotel room and clearly wasn't taken with her knowledge. Through her lawyers, she has promised both civil and criminal suits though the origin of the video is unknown. I don't have it and won't be posting it here because of the words "civil and criminal" mentioned in the previous sentence. The thing that's the most concerning is the media coverage this has gotten.
Somehow, despite a portfolio consisting entirely of non-risque pictures and videos, Erin Andrews is one of the most popular women on the internet, so the attention makes sense. However, outlets like Fox News and The Today Show (that I know of) have shown outrage toward the videographer and sympathy for Andrews by playing clips of the video all day. I understand, the video brings in ratings, and ratings bring in sponsors, and sponsors bring in money, but there's a direct hypocrisy being shown. "It's every woman's worst nightmare. A video of Erin Andrews walking around her hotel room naked. Take a look. Making this video was a deplorable act, and our thoughts go out to Miss Andrews. Now watch with us in disgust as she bends over to pick up her hair brush."
Also, I can't decide whether I want to watch the video or find myself entirely sick to my stomach. Part of me wants to satisfy my curiosity to finally find out what she looks like naked, but I'm not sure that's the best situation. Some part of her appeal is the fact that she doesn't provoke attention by taking her clothes off, and seeing her without them would definitely take away that innocence. Moreover, I'm not sure I'd be able to enjoy watching her on the sideline after having seen this video. As a result, it seems watching the video seems as though it would provide a short term positive that would be far outweighed by my lack of excitement the next time she's walking past my section during football season.
And finally, on a much less serious note, I stopped watching ESPN some time ago because I despise nearly every team from Boston, New York, and Chicago. However, due to team ownership obligations and the fact that I don't have to read about certain aforementioned teams there, I can't stop visiting their website. Since I assume most people are in a similar situation, I want to share a Sunday Conversation that recently aired on the network and was recently archived online. Normally, Sunday Conversation is a segment with an emotional interview of Brett Favre speaking about his most recent retirement or Alex Rodriguez about his steroids/gayness/choking (unrelated)/self-loving. Not this week. Check out the video below which features Ben Schwartz interviewing Olympic gymnast, Nastia Liukin.
Every time I watch the video of the president throwing out the first pitch at the All-Star game two things strike me. First, our esteemed leader wears mom jeans. Second, and more importantly, he throws like a girl. Say what you will about George Bush, but the man knew how to throw a baseball. It probably helps that he once owned a semi-professional baseball team, but that doesn't excuse Obama for what he did. As you'll notice during the two minute video, the president did exactly one thing like a man, and that's his decision to throw from the mound and not from the grass in front of it. Of course, had he chosen to throw from the grass, his pitch might have reached the plate.
During his visit to the press box where he talked with the worst broadcasters in sports not named Musberger, he was asked about the difference between throwing out the first pitch at the All-Star game versus a regular game, which he performed as a senator. He mentioned that as a senator, they just gave him the ball and sent him to the mound, but as president, he was able to secure some time with Albert Pujohls (the player who caught the "pitch") in the bullpen to warm up. That's the most relieving part of the story because if he hadn't been given the chance to throw ahead of time, his pitch might not have reached the grass.
So I decided to rewatch the video and figure out exactly what went wrong, you know, for the good of the president's image and whatnot. My first thought was maybe he tripped over his jeans, or perhaps they were too tight. That's when I realized that despite the jeans being loose enough to suit Manny Ramirez's taste, they still didn't manage to cover up his ankles. You'd think the first lady and her Jackie O sense of style that the media can't stop talking about would be able to find a decent pair of jeans for her husband. You'd be wrong. Discarding that solution, I watched the video again and realized that when the pitch was thrown, the camera conveniently forgot to follow the path of the ball, presumably in case the throw was bad. Unfortunately for all involved, other cameras were able to see the result of the poor throw, and it was replayed LeBron's publicist was able to destroy the tapes. I guess it's better to be the king than president.
Anyway, sparing many technical details, you'll see that Obama's wind up is decent, but once he began the throwing motion, instead of doing the natural (and masculine) motion of moving his arm in a circle, he went against his momentum and pulled his arm back like he was throwing a dart. And the result was less than ideal. But hey, as Adam Carolla showed, it could have been a lot worse...three times.
