One More Reason Baseball is Better Live

Despite being my favorite sport, it's impossible to dismiss the fact that it has obscenely sleep-provoking moments. Watching the game on TV subjects us to look at whatever the blow-hard announcer decides is worth talking about. However, it doesn't go without its benefits. (And I'm not talking about Eddie. *cough* gratuitous Erin Andrews links *cough* *cough* WARNING: not Erin Andrews *cough*) More importantly, commercial breaks last just long enough to visit the bathroom and restock the cup holders in your giant inflatable chair. However, being at the game doesn't bestow such opportunity because the time it takes the pitcher to warm up is conveniently the exact same amount of time it takes to get the attention of the 350 pound fan with enough back hair to shave a jersey on himself (and little enough shame to do it) that has been hogging your armrest the whole game and climb over him. Unfortunately, where there's one, there's usually more. Regardless, it's better than sitting next to this guy.

No matter, I didn't write this to persuade anybody that watching baseball on TV is better than being at the game. Despite not having time to finagle your way through the beer line and back to your seat without missing any time, there are actually reasons to go to a game. The Lemonade Shaking Guy, for instance. Of course, the game itself is nice but not worth $45 plus $8 per beer. What makes the game worth $45 per seat? The between inning entertainment. There's high powered t-shirt cannons, variations of the shell game, and most importantly, novelty racing.

Most of the time, the race involves participants that have some connection to the city the game is played in. The Washington Nationals race comical versions of dead presidents (shown at left), the Pittsburgh Pirates race pierogies, and the Milwaukee Brewers race sausages (sometimes with disastrous results - and for the record, I'm laughing now).

Just when you thought it couldn't get much more bizarre, this evening, to my dismay (as much because it's Saturday night as because of the partbicipants), I came across this video from www.cincinnati.com. It turns out, the Florence Freedom, the single A team for the Cincinnati Reds choose to race two eyeballs and Fat Elvis. For the better part of a half hour, I've been working on a punchline, but I'm now convinced that there is nothing I can say to make this video funnier, so I'll leave you with it and the images burned into your mind for the rest of your life. I'm sorry.