Thursday, June 4, 2009

Guten Tag!


In all honesty, this is a post that needed to be made several weeks ago, but www.thingsthatmakebirdbraingowtf.blogspot.com didn't exist.  Alas, the important thing is that this information is being disseminated at all.

June 5th is the feast day of St. Boniface and should be circled on your calendar with the same green marker you used for March 17.  Except instead of green, feel free to use brown, or red, or orange, or really any color you want.  The important thing is that it's circled and the most eagerly anticipated day of your year.

So why should we await June 5th with bated breath?  Simply put, St. Boniface is the patron saint of Germany, and his feast day deserves at least the same recognition as St. Patrick.  As I'm sure you've read up on the history St. Boniface in that nifty and extra convenient link I provided, you already know that he cut down a tree held sacred by the Germanic people.  (And that's way cooler than leading the snakes out of Ireland.)

Regardless of your religious beliefs, ethnicity, or preferred breed of dog, St. Boniface Day excludes nobody.  You don't have to wear a certain color or risk physical retribution.  You can drink your beer in its natural, already beautiful color.  No leprechauns, only midgets.  Sausages with potato pancakes are more filling and healthier than shepherd's pie.  And most importantly, Warsteiner is vastly superior to Guinness.

A quick Google search brings up one result for St. Boniface Day celebrations in the United States.  Annually, Buffalo, NY hosts "Shamrocks and Sauerkraut."  I'm not sure who decided that it would be a good idea to combine both heritages.  Perhaps providing an event which (I presume) serves billions of gallons of beer is the only way to have the entire city come together without ending in a riot.  I don't like it.  The Irish already have St. Patrick's Day.  It's time the German's had a day in which everybody celebrates their culture.   June 5th is that day.

So break out your lederhosen, polish the tuba, and sauer your kraut.  Because on St. Boniface Day, we're all German.

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