If it's her turn to choose: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Somehow, Forgetting Sarah Marshall gets a pass from the male population as a general comedy, so I had no problem watching it. About 20 minutes in, I realized that I'd been duped. In order to get the word out and protect males from watching it in the future, I've decided to feature it in this installment of "If it's her turn to choose."

Movie Title - Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Year Released - 2008

Times to avoid being home

Trailer

Funniness - Russell Brand, who I otherwise find obnoxious and annoying, put on the funniest performance of the entire movie as the new boyfriend of Kristen Bell's character, Sarah Marshall. There are other random funny moments throughout, but really, look for the comedy to pick up when Brand graces the screen. Plus everything is funny when said with a British accent. Rating: 7/10.

Predictability - There were only two possible situations for the conclusion of this movie. About halfway through, the correct one is painfully obvious. At that point, it's just a matter of wading through the rest of it. As a result, I've given it a 4.

Female Leads - Kristen Bell plays the title character with a much underrated Mila Kunis supporting her. Thankfully, Mila was reprising her annoying role of Jackie from That '70s Show. Better yet, Bell ranked 9th in the Askmen.com's countdown of the Top 99 Women for 2009. Kunis did even better in the Maxim Hot 100, pulling in a 5th place finish. Who am I to disagree with such esteemed judges? 9/10

Scantiness - One of the benefits of filming in Hawaii (or at least setting the film there) is plenty of bikinis. I present exhibit A. Need more evidence? How about this? That still doesn't prove they'll show some skin during the move, so my word will have to suffice. Perhaps a 9/10 will be convincing enough. It would be a 10, but neither showed anything during their nude scene...

Lucky Factor - As I've written in the past, a happy ending can often lead to one of your own. It seems to be a favorite of many of my lady friends on Facebook, so I can only imagine that it leaves them feeling a certain way. My guess is it involves not being alone. A 7 seems about right here.

Miscellaneous - Peter Segal does an adequate job of playing the male lead in the movie. Unfortunately, his johnson plays a recurring role, as well. He has some funny moments (most notably his performance in a rock opera), but the inclusion of so much weiner earns a (-8)/10 in the miscellaneous category.

Boobies!! - Sort of. There's a wall of pictures in the bathroom of a diner featuring many ladies and their most precious assets. Both of them. Did I mention Mila's are not-so-proudly displayed? Either way, they're out there. Bonus point, ahoy!

Final Recommendation - Somehow, Judd Apatow gets away with producing chick flick after chick flick, and guys continue to love them. Perhaps they're good movies when viewed as an alternative to, say, You've Got Mail, but when squared up with comedies as a whole, this definitely falls toward the chick flick end of the spectrum. Despite that and the inclusion of Segal's peter, the movie scored a quite respectable 7.2/10 according to my proprietary formula, within the range described as good for a date but not good enough to watch alone or with your guy friends.

If it's her turn to choose: Definitely, Maybe

"If it's her turn to choose" is a series I've started to help guys navigate the sea of movies your lady might choose when it's her turn to pick. In a nut shell, I'm reviewing a chick flick below to let my male audience know if it's worth fighting about or if you should just let her win this one. You can read about the ratings system in this post. With no further adieu, let's begin.
Movie Title - Definitely, Maybe

Year Released - 2008

Times to avoid being home

Trailer

Funniness - The movie isn't a slapstick comedy by any means. Most of the humor is dry, but it definitely (maybe) exists throughout the movie. I give it an 8/10.

Predictability - I really had little idea how the movie would end. I had a suspicion that turned out to be right, but it wasn't a lock until there were about 10 minutes left. I can live with that, but because there was never really an ephiphany moment, it doesn't get a perfect score here. Again, it get's an 8/10.

Female Leads - The movie features three female leads: Isla Fisher (No. 31 according to askmen.com's Top 99 for 2009), Elizabeth Banks (No. 95), and Rachel Weisz (No. 85 in 2008). Obviously, which such talent, I can't give this anything less than a 10.

Scantiness - Unfortunately, the ladies don't have a propensity toward tank tops or even wear shorts. Throughout the movie, Isla Fisher shows a propensity toward miniskirts, so it's not without hope. As such, scantiness only gets 3/10.

Perceived Length - The movie runs about 1:50, which is about right for a movie like this. It really seems to go faster than that, but there are definitely scenes that drag long enough that you'll check the clock a few times a minute to see how long it's been. That said, those moments are scarce, so I'll this a 7.

Lucky Factor - Obviously, this is subject to the woman involved, but I think Definitely, Maybe leaves you with a good chance of getting a yes later on. In my experience, when the characters end happy, so does my lady. I'm sure
there are some that still won't feel like it, so I can't give it a 10 since nothing is guaranteed. (It's something due to biology. I'm told I wouldn't understand.) As a result, I think an 8 is appropriate here.

Miscellaneous - Ryan Reynolds plays the male lead and does a pretty good job at it. I've found that he pretty much exclusively does chick flicks, but he seems to do alright and delivers some decent comedy. Plus if he's not entertaining you in this film, you can always imagine his performance in Van Wilder and how hot Tara Reid used to be. I'll say 6 here.

Boobies!! - No. Unfortunately. You're welcome.

Final Recommendation - The aggregate score for Definitely, Maybe ends up being 7.4 out of 10. As far as chick flicks go, it's one of the better ones I've endured, which I suppose is consistent with the score. I wouldn't go so far as to recommend this for solo viewing (unless your cable box only gets two channels and the other one is showing 300), but there are much more worthwhile issues to fight about. I'd say to suck it up and enjoy as best you can.

If it's her turn to choose

I've decided to start doing semi-regular posts to help my male readers out. Unfortunately, relationships require countless numbers of chick flicks to keep that lady happy. I realize that the smart guys don't watch the movies for enjoyment but rather in the hopes that they'll get repaid for their loyalties once it's over. My intent here is to help you guys know which movies are worth suffering through and promise the highest likelihood of a return on investment. I'll do that by rating the movies on several categories which I've outlined below. Each category will score up to 10 points.

Funniness - Obviously, this is a measure of how funny the movie is. It accounts for 10% of the total score. I realize some chick flicks don't even attempt to be funny, but I'm not about to rate a movie by how moving it is or how many tears your chick sheds. (Just make sure to keep her hydrated to avoid cramping later on.) Obviously, this favors romantic comedies over tragedies, but so be it. No amount of post-movie fun is worth enduring this.

Predictability - The less predictable, the higher the rating is in this category. Since chick flicks aren't meant to be edge of your seat thrillers, this only gets 5%. Still, it's tough to endure everything else when it's painfully obvious how the movie will end.

Female Lead(s) - I've assigned 25% of the total score to the quality of woman chosen to be the female lead/leads. This is the highest total assigned to any single category because hot women are much more important to the overall quality of a chick flick than any amount of bad acting. This will also take into account how often the actress shows up in the movie.

Scantiness - This category judges the exposure the female lead takes on during the movie. The less clothing, the higher the rating. Basically, I'm taking scantiness to be synonymous with sex appeal. However, this heading doesn't require nudity or even bikinis from the actress as Megan Fox demonstrated so eloquently in Transformers. It's important to note that this category applies only to the female lead and is worth 15% of the total score.

Perceived Length - This is a measure of how strong the urge to sit on a fork becomes during the movie. Originally, I intended to measure the length of the movie, but I realized Gladiator is 2 1/2 hours long, and I could watch it back to back, so the actual length isn't as important as the perceived length. This is worth 15% of the final rating. If the movie feels like it lasted long enough to build a house, it gets a low score.

Lucky Factor - This rates the possibility of receiving benefits befitting of you enduring this movie. For example, movies featuring Matthew McConaughey (WARNING TO MEN: Do NOT click the hyperlink. It's only done in a shameless attempt to suck in a female audience. I don't imagine they'll stay long once they read the rest of the misogyny, but it's worth the effort. You just clicked it anyway, didn't you? You're welcome for at least finding a picture with a bikini involved.) will score highly. As will movies with happy endings and Since this is the overall goal of the night, this category holds 20% of the score. I thought about making this the only criterion, but I realized that there's always a risk involved with watching the movie, and should the night end with snoring instead of your lady mistakenly crying out "Matthew!" I felt it necessary to make sure you at least marginally enjoyed the movie.

Miscellaneous - This is everything else. It varies by movie and may garner no points at all, in which case, the overall score won't be hurt. It carries a 10% weight if used, and none if not.

Boobies!! - A bonus point will be awarded to the final score if boobies are in the movie. This doesn't require being from the lead, but does require them to be nice. For example, Schindler's List would not get a point here. I think we're all in agreement that this is the right thing to do.

Final Recommendation - Are you seriously still reading? I think you can figure out what would go under this heading. I'll present the aggregate score for the movie out of 10 possible points. Obviously a higher number doesn't necessarily make it a great movie, but it probably means it's not worth the fight. Conversely, a low score indicates that you'd be better served giving yourself food poisoning and spending the night with your head in the toilet. Seriously, if one of those movies shows up on your DVR, it's time to fake a malfunction even if it means losing all of your Band of Brothers recordings.

Hopefully, this is clear and my recommendations will help you out when it's her turn to choose , and you can't compromise because last time, you picked Die Hard.