Sticking with the theme dujour, I've decided to put together a week of power rankings related to Christmas. First things first, since you can only listen to Christmas music for about 5 weeks a year (and two of those are already gone) without drawing strange looks from the guy in the cubicle next to you (despite his jamming to AlanisMorrisette), I'll start with those.
5.Christmas with the Devil (Spinal Tap)
Spinal Tap, most notable for their documentary film, performed this song for the Arsenio Hall Show. Unfortunately, the video is old and the audio isn't very high quality. (I suppose some of you will suggest that it's actually the quality of the song that's not good, but I digress.) Hopefully, your speakers go to 11.
4.The Chanukah Song (Neil Diamond)
Unfortunately, the song is the exact same as Adam Sandler's original, but there's just something about throwing in a random "bababaaaa" into the song as in: "Chanukah is the festival of lights. (Ba babaaaa)"
Performed as part of his 2008 Christmas special (available now on DVD) as a shameless self promotion, the song is sure to never become a Christmas favorite, but that's fine because it will be on this list for years to come.
2.Jingle Bells (The Detroit Pistons c. 2006)
Words escape me.
1.O Holy Night (Eric Cartman)
O Holy Night was my favorite Christmas song as a child. At this point, not so much. And then I heard Cartman sing it. I know it's a pretty common song, but it's still worth posting. If you want originality, try this.
I feel like going out on a limb today and want to guess that if you're reading this, you didn't watch the Primetime Emmy Awards last night. That's fair. Neither did I. And I watch about 8 hours of TV each day. Generally, I'm a sucker for award shows, but last night, I was much more excited for football and a new episode of Entourage. Of course, the awards show turned into hot news this morning, and the reviews of the show along with lists of winners were everywhere. So here's a list of things we missed, some unfortunate, others to be thankful about. I'll start with the terrible things and work toward the things I wish I'd have seen.
In memoriam. It's typically a terrible portion of any awards show. Last night was made extra miserable by the presence Sarah McLachlan singing "I Will Remember You." I actually feel bad for the audience because she was there. This is normally the one segment of the show where you know you won't be videotaped during that portion. It's a chance to visit the bathroom, reapply your lipstick, have a quickie, or pick your nose. Nobody knows who the dead people are until the last 20 seconds anyway. Not only was the song lame and the live performance typically pompous, the fact that Sarah sounds more than a little cow-like. I'd credit this to her 2-minute-long SPCA commercials, but it's not really a new thing.
Next most annoying: choosing the wrong winners. For this, I have to admit that I watched the last half hour, but that's it. I swear. During that time, I saw 4 awards and disagreed with two of them. The winner for Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series went to The Daily Show beating out The Colbert Report, amongst others. Jon Stewart hasn't been funny in three years and hasn't been funnier than Colbert since Colbert was on The Daily Show. Allow me to explain The Daily Show in fifteen words. Play video of President Bush saying something out of context. Make funny face. Await laughter. End explanation. Don't believe me? Watch tonight and tell me I'm wrong. And then watch Colbert at 11:30 when he'll likely feature another installment of "Who's not Honoring Me Now."
Not quite as bad was 30 Rock winning Outstanding Comedy Series besting The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Family Guy, Flight of the Concords, Weeds, and Entourage. Based solely on the order I would watch those shows if they were all on my DVR, I would put 30 Rock in third place, at best. The Office had one of its best seasons yet, and How I Met Your Mother transformed from a replacement for Monday Night Football into TV I would schedule my night around.
I'm neutral on the musical number Neil Patrick Harris opened the show with. You can watch the video below. I tend to not enjoy elaborate musical numbers, but there were some funny lyrics in this one.
Ricky Gervais should host this and every awards show. I posted a few videos of his previous Emmy appearances, or lack thereof, here. Last night provided more laughs as Ricky did his best "I'm not Barack Obama" impersonation by going off the teleprompter. I'm not sure why he hasn't taken off in the United States, but he remains one of the funniest people on earth. Certainly the funniest in England.
Finally, I'm now in love with the red carpet. Or should I say Blake Lively. Look at the picture above. It's almost enough to make me watch Gossip Girl. It's definitely enough to make me stop writing.
